Oh My Soul

I try to post things when good things happen, but I also think it's important to be raw and real.

This last week has been just plain HARD for me, and on top of it all, today marks 11 weeks since sweet Sadie went to be with Jesus.

I know God is good, and I know His plan is bigger and better than mine, but today... this life sucks, and I'm going to give myself a moment to just sit in it.

I know God is by my side as He's letting me sit here and feel the pain. Because as always, soon enough, He will gently lift me back to my feet. But as I'm sitting here, I've listened to this song...

This song has meant so much to me in the last few weeks. The lyrics, "this was the one thing you didn't see coming" is so, SO, true for me.

But, when I watched this video, I saw Sadie and the dances I won't see her perform. I saw a glimpse of a future I won't have. Many of you know I've danced since I was, well, just a little bit older than Sadie. My plan was to put her in a studio this summer. Not only did I lose my daughter, but I lost a future I wanted to have so bad with her, dancing just being a small piece of that. But, I do believe, with my whole heart, that God will give beauty from ashes, and I think I will eventually see it in this life- whatever that may be.

I don't want you to read this and feel bad for me, please don't do that... but read it and know that the Lord will walk with you as he has with me no matter where you are. Our valleys look different, but we've all been there. He walks with me when I feel like I'm back in the darkest of moments, and he sits with me when I just want to be still.

I'm grateful for my husband, Trent, and the strength he has when I don't. I'm grateful he can calm me down in a storm that I can't get out of. God has always been good at keeping one of us strong when the other isn't.

As the Lord slowly picks us up from where we are, remember, tomorrow is a new day.